We're back

Title says it all, really. We're now back after a journey no less eventful, as the Victorians would have put it, than the one that took us to Australia in the first place. Those who read my email then will recall that we were delayed 24 hours due to missing the Singapore flight by 10 minutes. This was due to heavy rain at Heathrow that reduced the permited frequency of landing, combined with what seemed like (and in fact was) masterly inactivity from the ground staff.
The return was different. The flights from Melbourne to Singapore and Singapore to Heathrow went like clockwork, but the trouble started when we touched down. There was a delay in disembarkation because the boarding bridges had allegedly frozen solid in the low overnight temperature (I daresay they had saved a few pence by buying a cheapo variety of hydraulic oil.) This may have been a ruse, as the Metropolitan police then boarded the aircraft and arrested the man sitting across the aisle from me. I had thought in the departure lounge that he looked a trifle spaced, not to say zonked, and had offered up a selfish prayer that he would be sitting somewhere remote from us. This was fittingly answered when I noticed that the boarding pass he was waving at the stewardess had the number next to mine. However, he improved on acquaintance and I had a perfectly normal conversation with him just before his arrest. Oh well- if it was drugs, he was better off being arrested in Heathrow than in Singapore.
Marvelling at this, we changed terminals, had a cup of coffee and proceeded to the departure gate as instructed. All seemed normal until there was a peremptory announcement that the flight was cancelled because Edinburgh airport was closed due to the heavy snowfall. No, it couldn't be rescheduled. Passengers must collect their luggage and proceed to the dreaded Zone E in departures. This bore an uncanny resemblance to what happened on our outward journey. After much queuing we were redirected to a desk in the arrivals area where buses to replace the cancelled flights were being arranged. After much more queuing we were finally given tickets to a bus that would leave for Edinburgh at 11.00. Rescheduling seemed very improbable in the pre-Christmas rush and this seemed the least unsatisfactory option.Traffic on the M6 was horrendous and, because of this and the snow, the journey took the rest of the day, arriving here at about 23.00. (All credit to the bus driver. Instead of doing what he was told to do- deliver us to Edinburgh airport- he concentrated on where people actually wanted to be and dropped them off at Carlisle, Hamilton and central Edinburgh as well.)
Readers of my initial email will recall that what upset me then was not the various meteorological causes of the delay, still less the conduct of the crew and cabin staff, but the blase and uncaring attitude of the ground staff at Heathrow. Others have confirmed this impression. In one respect things were different this time- they were ostentatiously caring this time round. Indeed, many of them wore a calming powder-blue sweater with the legend: "Can I help you?" The answer was monosyllabic and involved neither P nor any letter of the alphabet beyond. They were simply there to marshal people into queues. The actual work of issuing bus tickets was done by a grim group of 4 juniors, who took about 10 minutes for each passenger. When my turn eventually came round, I saw that this was because they were having to copy all the paasenger details from the e-ticket or boarding pass onto a bus ticket form- in longhand. I was born in 1942 and am therefore almost completely devoid of IT literacy. But they must have had a database with all the passenger details from the cancelled flight(s) . How long would it take to print out a ticket for each passenger? Then all that happens is that the passenger surrenders the boarding slip, is given his or her bus ticket and a duplicated map showing where and when to catch the bus. Possibly a name on a list has to be ticked. Any unused ticket is destroyed afterwards. Done and dusted. Time per passenger, perhaps 30 seconds. Maybe there is a second career for me post-retirement in business consultancy?
Enough of this. I'll feel better after some sleep, if possible with the jet-lag.
Blog-related matter: since the last log we have been to both islands of New Zealand and visited Melbourne again. I must look at our pictures (new camera, by the way. The old one was dropped on a tiled floor and no longer functions) and see how good they are. There should be one or two postings from these which will conclude (drum roll) our antipodean adventures.